A Woman’s Smile

Whenever I see a woman smile, I thank the reason behind it. The world is definitely male-dominated. Opportunities seldom come a woman’s way. She has to squeeze through the crowd and grab it. I recently joined a permanent job after a four year break. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. And when it is India you are born in, there is even lesser reason to smile.

For a long time I used to think that when my generation becomes adult, there will be no more female foeticides and infanticides, grooms will start refusing dowry and being a house husband won’t rob a man of his dignity. Then I became an adult and I met mothers my age who started collecting gold for their daughter’s wedding almost as soon as she was born. A friend of mine looks forward to fifty tolas of gold and the Ford Escourt that his would-be wife is going to bring him. The number of cases in female foeticide and infanticide are still rising. And every woman I know has to go home and cook after work.

A girl child starts fighting her battle as soon as she is allowed to be born. Most parents don’t celebrate a girl’s birth in India. Having thus entered the world unwanted, she grows up being denied opportunities. “You can’t play football, you are a girl.” “Don’t wear jeans.” “Eat like a girl.” I had a friend in sixth standard who was visibly thinner than us. She was the youngest among four sisters and one brother. Her brother’s food was cooked separately, with more ghee, fresher ingredients and definitely more love. No wonder by the time my friend was in college she became adept in using the wiles and charms of her sex to get things done her way. People called her a bitch for using PMS to get leaves approved and flirting with her boss for promotions, but these were the only ways she knew to get ahead in life.

Women from all walks of life are struggling; whether it’s the millionaire’s wife striving to create her own identity, or the down trodden illiterate one who is somehow managing five kids, a drunk and abusive husband and a manual job way beyond her capability. Thus, whatever the reason behind a woman’s smile; whether it’s her new shoes, a compliment from her beau, or her child’s first word, I thank every inch of it.

She can smile through fire

And burn through ice

To hold her head high

She can wield her might

From the Magic Box!

CP

Lassiwala

Qutab Minar

Humayun's Tomb

Lodhi Tomb

Capital Fury!

Among other changes in Delhi, I can see a new trend in the rage levels of the city. Consider the following cases:


1. A man after refusing to pay seventeen bucks for toll, shot the toll worker even after the boy let him go without paying.

2. A man, after refusing to pay for a glass of juice, went home, returned with a kitchen knife and stabbed the juice vendor to death.

3. When an auto wala grazed a car, the driver and his companions bashed the auto wala’s head with a brick till he was dead.

4. A father and son beat a guy to death with hockey sticks and cricket bats for asking to park his auto near their house.

There was a time when I used to relish a quarrel in Delhi. Hindi is not my mother tongue, and it was fascinating to see the innovative use of the language when tempers were flared. Among a few dialogues, that I can quote safely here are:

“Tere baap ki shadi hai kya wahan, jo ball laane me itni der kar raha hai?”

“Ye kooda tumhara daddy aa ke saaf karega?”

An entire crowd would gather and a few people would butt in, in a bid to pacify the parties. Soon, the quarrel would break up and an entire week would be dedicated to the incident in excited whispers. And for years to come, these quarrels would bring a smile or arouse laughter.

Now, people move away from a quarrel with dread written all over their faces. You never know who might snap and just kill you in sheer rage. Nosey neighbours will not pry in to pacify. The parties might turn on the friendly pacifier. What bewildering phenomenon is happening here? A rage so blinding, a passion so consuming that all past and future seems to obliterate from the person’s mind. He seems only aware of an urgency to be rid of the disturbing element. And the rage lasts for long periods of time too. Any concern for consequences seems to be absent too.

Well, whatever the phenomenon, whatever the psychology behind it, what I have learnt this time in Delhi is that we have to learn to keep quiet. Another car grazes your car, don’t react. A person barges into a line, don’t speak up. A person steps on your feet, smile. It can get more ridiculous if I continue. I know its against the spirit of Delhi, but its definitely my new mantra in this newer New Delhi.

From DTC to Metro

Delhi once gave me shapely arms. At least twice a day, I was assured of an intensive session of physical exercise, equivalent to any modern gym equipped with sophisticated technology. I, as well as my fellow female colleagues, could boast of a 26 inch waist. And that too without a diet, in fact we used to hog like wolves all day. All courtesy, DTC buses. A ride in a DTC bus of those days was quite an educational tour. On a busy route, a DTC bus was a colossal cuboid of humans rolling across the streets. Those lucky enough to have a foot-hold clung to their good fortune. People from all walks of life were forced to forget their differences as they shared space aboard these indifferent machines. Labourer, teacher, housewife, student – all were equal. Summers were even more humbling.


This time the capital welcomed me with the Metro. The Metro is like the latest hottie in college. Everybody is talking about it. Everybody wants to be seen in it. Not one day goes by without me hearing an incident that happened on the Metro. I myself travelled it for most of my interviews. You can do a complete behaviour analysis of the current Delhiite while sitting on those seats.

First of all Metro stations are so secure that you can stand proud while you wait for it. Unlike when you wait for a DTC, you don’t have to rivet your eyes around for suspicious characters. And even if you do spot someone creepy, you know that help isn’t at all far. Moreover, you know the exact amount of time you have to wait, which will be max eight minutes. Unlike DTCs you aren’t going to be spending an easy half hour stagnating under the sun.

All the technology does usher in some snobbery. Swanky swinging automatic doors, tokens and smart cards, stations built like international airports; that’s a lot to brag about. People are generally seen staring into the distance with an air of superiority, mostly with a pair of headphones glued to their ears. They seem unruffled by the multitude of people milling around. For even in the new fangled Metro, there is rush. Sometimes, I wonder how the doors are able to close. I guess you can’t win everywhere.

Women Interrupted!

My first morning in Delhi, I opened the newspaper gratefully. Grateful because its been a year since I read an Indian English daily. And what I read shivered me timbers. A 29 year old married woman was dragged out of her taxi and gang raped the whole night. The woman was a bar tender in a Gurgaon pub. I have known a conservative Delhi, but the new generation has taken over. Aunties no longer flap their tongues when a girl and a boy chat in their ‘mohalla.’ Girls are no longer confined to salvar kameezes and loose T-shirts. Its nice and relieving to see that. But if this city was ever unsafe for women, now its even worse. And there is no relief in sight.If you look at the rape pattern in the city, you can conclude that we don’t have any serial rapists. These are apparently normal people, who belong to normal families. The only thing that sticks out is that they seem to have no fear – of the law, or it’s enforcers. Not that these people belong to a powerful mafia group or the underworld. So where does this absence of fear come from? Is it money? If you have an answer, please let me know. Maybe I’ll feel better.

Delhi is a vast city and full of opportunities. There are hundreds of smart and exciting jobs and careers for women, but can a woman dare take such a job, or choose such a career? Those who have taken these jobs and chosen to be wild and versatile, are they courageous given the level of dangers, or just lucky so far? The sad fact is, women of Delhi, who are smart, opinionated, bold, cannot safely work in urban places like a bar or a pub, a disc. So should they just tame themselves and do jobs that are safe like teaching, accounts and day shifts? How do you fulfill your dreams in such a place? And I wonder: was it wise for me to come back here to restart my career?

Back in Teekhi Delhi!

My sincerest apologies for the sudden absence. Being a human being, sometimes the world around me demands and I simply have to supply. Without any more fanfare, let me tell you that I am now in Delhi. Delhiites and people who have been to Delhi would know that this is not a city one takes lightly. Millions of people have tried their luck here for hundreds of years. It’s the perfect place for a reality check. The crowd here is rough, rude and ever increasing. Itcan trample on your dreams quite painfully.But, after a month of being shoved and pulled around, you realize that it doesn’t matter anymore. And suddenly, you are one of the mob, standing and watching a nervous newbie complain about the crowd. And you don’t have the time to console this person.

And soon, you get a new feeling. Like nothing can stop you from reaching what you want. Whether, its the soaring temperatures in summer or the biting chills of Delhi winter, you find that you are still delivering, still functioning, still very much enjoying too.

I almost grew up in Delhi. Did my college from DU. I am back after six years. Some of the gigantic changes that I am witnessing shock me, others surprise me pleasantly, and still others leave me nostalgic. How did I live without bhalla papdi, bhel puri, gol gappa, I wonder? How did I shop when it wasn’t Sarojini Nagar, Karol Bagh or Janpath, I ponder? But I am back, and am enjoying every taste, khatti, meethi and lots of teekhi!

Kismat ko aazmaane

Tere dar pe aaye hai hum

Gar Dilli dilwalon ki hai

To sapne dekhenge hum

Inhe na tod deejiye

Tere nakhre uthaenge hum

Loving and Fooding!

I know that to make a dinner romantic, all you need is two pairs of clasped hands and two pairs of eyes mirrored in each other. The food could be caviar and champagne or two cans of coke and bread pakode. However, when you plan to take out a loved one for dinner, you want a quiet place, that fills your mood with romance. So, I looked at the most romantic restaurants that I have been to in the three cities that I have spent my life in, after the arrival of romance. Let me add that none of the restaurants I am talking about here are expensive, very handy for college goers or those who have just started drawing their salares.

New Delhi: Pebble Street

A pebbled street in Santa Fe, Colombia

It seems a long time ago that I used to go here. My first time was when I was fresh on my second job. Ever since I have recommended it to many people, and have had many dates with my beau then. Sometimes, visiting places here in Colombia remind me of this little place, because the floor is literally made of cut stones, resembling an actual pebble street. And many of the Spanish settlements of the olden days had the same for roads. So, the ambience gets a lot of marks for resembling like an old European colony. I remember dressing up in a long skirt and a peasant top once, to feel even more authentic. And don’t worry, the food is fantastic too. My favourite order used to be Mushy Buttons, a plateful of mushrooms filled with cheese along with a very spicy dip. Apart from continental, the menu also comprises of Indian and South-East Asian. I remember my Dad ordered Indonesian food there! You can check out the menu here. And now the best part: they serve liquor. Find out the time for happy hours!

Bangalore: Bewhaha

Whoever came up with this concept is an absolute genius. Yes, it is not just a café but also a concept. You don’t just get food for your tummy here, but for your brains too! You can choose to rent from sixty-five different board games, which you can enjoy while you munch on sandwiches, pakode, samosa or sip on the likes of Calvin Brew Milkshake (absolutely naughty and yummy!) or the Pan Galactic Gurgle Blaster. The service is tailor made for you to feel cool and cared for. There is even a person who helps you select a game and I have heard they also arrange for hobby workshops and hip-hop classes. The area is very near to Jyoti Nivas College and several offices, so that the crowd is always nice. Along with tables and chairs, they also have floor sitting, where you would often catch a big college crowd chilling out with a board game. Don’t fret, there are games for two people too. Just check this place out with your chosen one. And if you are alone, there are a range of books too!

Medellin: Bon Vent

Parque Lleras

At first glance, this is just an Italian fast food place. I have ordered pizzas from here, especially for my vegan friends, and they have loved it. Its difficult to find vegan food in this city. So, the reason I visited the place last night was for the thin but soft pizza crust. And I was pleasantly surprised. Its a small place tucked away in one of the corners of Parque Lleras. There are only five tables, only one person to wait on all and probably only one cook inside, but the food is lovely and inexpensive! We ordered a simple pepperoni pizza and a portion of wings in barbecue sauce and savored every bite. Their pizzas are square in shape; I found that easier to pick up. The romantic part is that the seating opens out into the pavement, which appeared to be less busy than other lanes of Parque Lleras. So, on a cool summer night, there is you and your bright eyes and good food. What else do you want? Oh, yes! Every place here serves liquor. There was a whole rack of wine bottles!

If you are in any of these cities and happen to take my advice about any of the above restaurants, lemme know if you liked them.